Le Crappy Review - Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King

Sexy monster ladies, a DBZ-esque tension system that increases your attack and defense power like heck, hard-to-level-up environment that makes you want to pull your hair out - admit it, you PS2 gamers do love Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King.

It's got a playable demo of FFXII? Hey, why wasn't I made known of this?

I'll admit though, I'm only a quarter into the game (got to find the Venus' Tear and be done with it) and even at level 16, it's a lot more challenging compared to other turn-based RPGs I've played to date (which, unfortunately, is severely limited to Final Fantasy), together with Chrono Trigger. I dunno about you, but I think I see a pattern of some sort - any Square Enix RPG game that has Toriyama's character design will leave you with a hellishly difficult level up process.

The merry team of DQVIII.

Nevertheless, the game itself is fun. The story begins with a curse: a king and his princess were cursed by a thieving jester who steals a scepter sealed within the king' castle - the king turns into a pathetic monster while his daughter turned into a horse. The course of the story is basically a quest to lift the curse off the king and the princess, and you play as the nameless hero (pictured with a red bandana and a yellow....cardigan?) who, mysteriously, is the only person in said castle unaffected by the curse. Add a bandit who turned over a new leaf, a sultry and rebellious heiress to a noble family, and a charming yet mildly lecherous young man of the church and you get an adventure like no other.

Welcome to the wide world. You're on your own now, soldier. 

The battle system operates the same way that has been the staple of many Square Enix games: turn-based. However, turns taken are determined randomly rather than having the main characters strike first before the enemy makes a move. The beauty - and frustration - of it is that you can never be sure who'll go first - you, or that Minidemon who's probably planning on launching a terrible Frizzle spell at you.

It's hero time! ....Wait a minute. That's a Ben 10 quote. o_o

One thing for sure though - definite DBZ-like references in battle. There's a 'psyche-up option that enables you to 'psyche up', which increases your tension. When your character's tension rises, their attack and defense power goes up a notch, and it always goes up in multiples of 5. When you reach 100, this is what happens:

A Super Saiyan? In MY Dragon Quest?! COOL BEANZ! 8D

Impressive, huh?

Of course, where will the battle be without cool techniques and spells to learn? Even though levelling up is hard like hell (My character, whom I've named Hiro [charming! A variation of 'Hero'!], needs 3000+ experience to reach level 17), coupled with hard-to-beat monsters (at least in my eyes), the benefits you reap from hearing the sound of invisible trumpets that indicates you've levelled up is well worth the trouble and the wasted medicinal herbs. Each character has a unique set of weapons they may master throughout the game (the only common thing being they can also fight bare-handed), and levelling up different weapons can gain you different abilities and spells with it. Uniquely, abilities are only learned with the weapon you currently use at hand, and cannot be used on a new weapon even when of the same type, so keeping old weapons is a good idea that will really come in handy.

I can't wait to get my hands on this ability.

The music itself is nice, classic and nostalgic. It provides a suitable atmosphere to the adventure, giving you the impression of a Middle-Age (if you can call it that) era full of might and magic, warriors and damsels in distress, ferocious dragons and powerful wizards, and - if slimes exist - lovable slimes. Frankly put, the music is what makes the game even more exciting.

I'll let you in on a secret: Before I picked up DQVIII, I had no idea Akira Toriyama did stuff other than Dragon Ball. So picking it up was a surprise; which is the other beauty of it, because Toriyama's style is so distinguishable from other mangaka. A little glimpse of odd-shaped eyes, and you just KNOW it's the handiwork of Toriyama himself.

Just so you know, I am a lady and I'm not a lesbian. I just find Jessica looks good like that. 

The only thing I'd be miffed about is the fact that levelling up is a great chore, but all that is nullified by the spectacular plot, charming music, and the insistently random turns you get in gameplay. Also, there are also a number of interesting sidequests you'll encounter along the way, and if you're a gambling fan....well, I've said too much already. Best find out for yourself.

What's that? You don't have a PS2? If I remember correctly, you're still able to play PS2 games on your PS3. What? No PS3? Then there's two choices: get yourself a PS2 (trust me, they're really cheap now) or a PS2 emulator (of which may require your system to be really top-notch in terms of graphics and RAM if you want to play PS2 games on your PC or laptop). Either way, I'll safely say that Dragon Quest VIII is definitely a game worth your investment.